Dear Mommy
by inlovewithshizaya
Summary: Shizuo and a little boy are going to visit someone who is very important to both of them. Just a short one-shot


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Durarara

* * *

 **Dear Mommy**

 **-o-o-o-o-**

Walking down a sidewalk in Ikebukuro was one of this town's most famous habitants. Clad in a black and white bartender suit, with bleached blonde hair, Heiwajima Shizuo. Now in his mid thirties and seemingly not disturbed in the slightest by the fresh air October morning brought with it.

He wasn't alone thought. With his right hand securely wrapped in the ex-bartender's hand was a much smaller one. Looking down at the unruly brown hair that was bouncing up and down with every step they took made a content smile appear on the adult's face. The boy at his side was the splitting image of the town's strongest man, the only difference was that he looked like an eight-year-old version of him and still spouted his original hair colour. Another difference was the boy's eye colour, which he clearly inherited from his mother. Though since the boy currently had his eyes trained on his feet, enjoying the sound of red and brown leaves getting crunched under the soles of his shoes, made it impossible for any passer-by to catch a glimpse at those eyes.

He wore black trousers and a white sweater, keeping him warm enough. A white scarf wrapped around the brown haired boy's neck several times, making it clear on first sight that the article originally belonged to someone bigger than him. Today, before leaving the house, the boy had insisted on wearing it and what kind of father would Shizuo have been if he wouldn't respect such a simple wish on his beloved son's birthday?

A chuckle left Shizuo's lips. It was really funny, how his son, who looked nearly exactly like him and even inherited his unnatural strength turned out to be such a shy and quiet boy. They found out about the strength part half a year ago, when the boy admired a ring that belonged to his mother. It slipped through his fingers and rolled under the couch. Shizuo had just walked into the living room from the kitchen to tell his son that breakfast was ready when he saw his boy easily holding up the couch with one hand while fetching the ring with the other. It was only after he sat the couch back down he noticed the pain inside his arm. Never had Shizuo ran so fast towards his childhood friend's home as on this day. His son was lucky to only have broken his arm. When his father first discovered this strength he was off much worse.

While remembering this certain incident the pair had finally reached their destination. It was what the boy had wished from his father for his birthday, to pay his mother a visit. This wasn't only an important day for him but also an important day considering his other parent, the one who gave birth to him.

Letting go of his father's hand, the boy took a step towards his mother. Fumbling around in his sweater's pockets, he pulled out an envelope.

"Mommy." he began to speak. "We had a project in school where we were supposed to write a letter to someone and I decided to write it to you."

He stayed silent for a moment as if waiting for an answer. A gust of wind stroke through the branches of a tree nearby, carrying a few of its dried up leaves down towards the cold stone that stood before the young Heiwajima. He could hear his father swallow behind him.

Opening up the envelope he pulled out the letter inside and began to read it out loud.

 _"Dear mommy in heaven!_

 _How are you? Can you see me? If not, then please don't worry about me. I'm fine. Daddy is making sure of it. But he's not the only one looking out for me._

 _My godmother and godfather, aunt Celty and uncle Shinra watch over me as well._

 _I visited them again yesterday. Sorry, my mistake. The day you'll get this letter will be in two weeks. It will be both our important day. Yours and mine._

 _Mommy, I think I did something bad."_

The boy sniffed, whipping his nose on his sweater's sleeve. Shizuo took a step forward resting both his hand on his son's shoulders squeezing them gently. He gained strength from his father's gesture and continued.

 _"I told uncle Shinra about the project and that I want to write my letter to you._

 _He cried after I told him. He cried and started apologizing. He said it was him who made it possible for you to have me and that it was his responsibility to make sure everything was going to be okay. He blames himself for what happened. Seeing him cry, made me cry as well and aunt Celty had to comfort us both. But she was sad as well. Her shoulders were shaking just as strong as uncle Shinra's. I hope that someday he'll stop blaming himself."_

He could feel his father's hands trembling softly. "Daddy?" he asked looking up behind him. His father's gaze was turned upwards, not meeting his son's eyes. He had a smile on his face but it looked broken. "Go on. I'm okay." the blonde reassured him softly.

 _"I want everyone to be happy while thinking about you. Just like my aunties. They tell me so many things about you. How you watched out for them and made sure they're okay. They always look so happy when talking about you._

 _They also called you a smart… I'm sorry, but daddy said I'm too young to use that word now."_

"It was 'smart-ass'." he whispered as if to tell his mother a secret. The man behind him cleared his throat and the boy mumbled out a shy "Sorry".

 _"But you know… Daddy is also very smart. He always makes sure to help me with homework, even when I don't really need it. I'm really good at school and I have fun. I even made a friend. He is the new boy in my class and he is even quieter than me, but not shy. He just doesn't like talking to others. His name is Hachimenroppi but I just call him Roppi. He doesn't like it when I do but he still spends time with me. Maybe he is like daddy. Uncle Kasuka told me that daddy also pretended to hate the nickname you gave him. He also told me that daddy used to smoke but that he quit when I was still inside your stomach."_

Shizuo had to laugh when hearing that. His eyes were glassy while looking down at his son's unruly curls, but he still managed not spilling a tear. He wanted to stay strong and keep smiling.

 _"I think daddy is the sweetest daddy in the world. The kindest and the strongest, but… he is not good at lying."_

The last part was spoken quieter than the one that came before, but the boy's father still heard it. He frowned in confusion at hearing those words while his son took another step away from him and towards were his mother rested.

 _"He lies about having a nice day at work when it was actually a really bad one. He lies about being happy when I know how much he misses you."_

After hearing the small sob his son let out, even the fortissimo couldn't hold back his own anymore. Bringing his left hand up to his mouth to bite down on his fist so no sound would leave from his lips, a single tear finally made its way down his cheek.

 _"Daddy blames himself just like uncle Shinra. But he lies about happiness for me. He lies so that I won't have to cry. Mommy, daddy is really bad at lying."_

The words tumbling from the eight year olds lips were shaky and hick-ups started to appear every now and then. The letter in his hands got crumbled by the way his hands are shaking now. His sight blurry from the tears he tried to hold back without success. It still doesn't hinder him on continuing. The words written down on this piece of paper are words from his heart, words that he memorized before he even wrote them down.

 _"Mommy, I want to tell you that I miss you too. We never got to meet each other, but I really miss you and I want so say: 'Thank you'. Thank you for giving me life. Thank you for choosing to have me even thought uncle Shinra told you having me would be risky."_

The bodyguard couldn't hold himself back anymore. He kneeled down besides his son hugging him close to his chest while burying his crying face into those soft brown locks. The young boy hugged his father back, burying himself inside the man's chest.

 _"I love you, mommy and I love my daddy!"_

The boy shouted after leaning back from his father, locking at the stone before them. Tears falling down his eyes like waterfalls, while Shizuo softly but also shakily racked his fingers through his son's hair, soothing him.

Reddish-brown eyes gazed at the name engraved into the lifeless surface. A name that told him that his mother was still looking after him, for it meant "the one looking above the crowd". Gripping at the scarf around his neck like a life line. The scarf his mother once got as a Christmas present from his father.

He swallowed down the lump that has built up in his throat. He still had one thing to say to his mother who died right after _he_ gave birth to him. Yes, his mother was male, and that is exactly why giving birth to him came with such a risk and ended up with a sacrifice everyone had hoped to avoid.

He breathed in deeply and he breathed out again. It made him feel a little bit calmer now and his father's hug helped a lot as well.

 _"Your son, Tsukishima."_

He said while forming his best smile despite all the tears and snot staining his face.

 **THE END**


End file.
